I used to be the WORST when it came to bottling things up, I would never talk about how I was feeling which meant it used to come out in the worst ways, mainly when I was drunk. In time I learnt to be a lot more open about how I’m feeling so this doesn’t happen, this blog is so helpful when it comes to talking about how I feel because I still sometimes struggle with finding the right words to describe how I’m feeling when talking to people about how my mental health is! I’ve also learnt how to deal with my emotions when I’ve had a drink, especially as now I’m more open about my mental health meaning that I’m not keeping it all in and letting it out in the worst ways possible.
The way I used to deal with things when I was in a bad place was by drinking stupid amounts, I thought that was the right way of dealing with things when I felt shit, which was the completely wrong thing to do as I wasn’t talking about how low I was feeling so all my emotions were coming out in the wrong way.
I would ruin nights out for myself and for the people around me for becoming such an emotional mess to the point where I would let out all my feelings and spend most of the night crying going on about how down I was feeling and then when people tried to ask me about it when I was sober I never knew how to go about it.
It became annoying for me because this perception was created of me as this person who always used to cry when drunk etc and I didn’t want to be seen as this kind of person as it really wasn’t me at all, I just didn’t know how to deal with all the thoughts going on inside my head and kept them all to myself for far too long, that they eventually did come out in the worst way possible. When all my feelings would come out in this way when I was drunk, not many people would take it seriously either as they’d just be like ‘you’re just drunk’ etc. Now I know talking about how I’m feeling, either with the people around me, my doctor or on this blog (when sober!!!!!!!) is the most helpful thing to do in the situation, not only for myself but all the people around me. I’m also learning how to deal with the amount of alcohol I drink when I’m feeling a certain type of way as when I go out with my friends I want to be enjoying myself and not spending the night crying because I feel so down and don’t know how to talk about it. It took me so long to actually realise why I was getting so emotional after drinking but now I’m learning why and how to deal with it I feel so much more comfortable just going on a night out knowing that I’m not going to ruin the night for myself or the people around me.
I also used to struggle when I’d get angry or upset about anything, that one thing could then turn into me having a complete meltdown about how down I was at the moment of time and something so small would trigger it. Again, this was such a bad way of talking about my feelings, as being in such a state as it is about whatever had just happened in the first place to make me upset, I’d be all over the place and just making myself feel worse by adding loads more reasons as why I should be upset in that moment, which was hard when it came to trying to get over or resolve what I was originally upset about at that moment of time. How down I was feeling was a bigger issue which needed to be dealt with separately, but when I used to be in such states as it was, I could never see that and just used to see it as ‘everything is shit, I hate my life’, which was the worst way to look at things when trying to move forward.
TALK TO SOMEONE!!!!!!!! As hard as it can be, and even if it’s just one person, reaching out and talking about how you’re feeling inside is the most helpful thing you can do for yourself.
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Gee's Mental Health 